Late Nights
by Gammer
Summary: The late hours reveal much of what is never seen during the day. Join Shepard as he experiences things about his friends and crew mates that he would never see during the work day.
1. Karaoke Night part 1

Late Nights

"Karaoke" Night part 1

Commander James Anthony Shepard, groaned as stared at the bare chrome ceiling. He mentally counted down from ten, and then on cue, EDI's time display floated across the ceiling. The feature presented itself every six minutes of EDI's idle time and cycled through the various times of the major races on the ship. First the human time, typical of course of a Cerberus vessel, 04:23am, then came the turian time 00:30, after that salarian 08:00, krogan, 05:23, quarian 05:12, drell 06:12 and asari 04:00.

Shepard rubbed his eyes as EDI's idle function began to flash non-critical ship reports across the ceiling. He had got what he wanted and it was something he already knew. He was up late even by non-human standards. Except for the salarians of course, who were able to function on only an hour's worth of sleep. Mordin even less so it seemed like. Jacob once said that he saw the professor get up after a five minute nap and function like normal.

Still five minutes was better than none at all.

Shepard wasn't sure when it had started, he guessed after Freedom's Progress, but couldn't be sure. Either way it was around then that sleep had begun to elude him. At first he had been sleeping an hour less, then two hours less, after that, three and so on until sleep just seemed to abandon him completely. It had been four nights since he had anything resembling sleep, or by the look of the clock, five nights.

Dr. Chakwas had surmised that stress was the key factor to his insomnia. She had advised that he find a way to lower his stress levels before his condition worsened. Problem was the stress factors came faster than he could lower them. Losing out on two years of his life, being assigned to a suicide mission, rounding up probably the most unorthodox crew the galaxy had ever seen, maintaining that group so he actually had a crew for the mission, seeing how the Collectors worked at Horizon, finding out Ash no longer wanted anything to do with him, and now these loyalty missions. Shepard was amazed that he hadn't suffered from some kind of nervous breakdown. Though knowing his luck it was coming someday soon. He sighed and rose from bed.

"I need **milo***," he muttered. He smacked his lips in anticipation of the warm chocolate drink as he made his way to his personal bathroom. The drink was something his mother always gave him when he couldn't sleep. Back then it would never fail to knock him out; maybe its powers still had an effect on him.

He passed a hand over his still scarred face. The red cuts were barely noticeable in the light, but in the dark, the crimson scars made his chocolate brown face more intimidating than he would have liked. If he followed the good doctor's advice and kept his positive mindset the scars would fade completely. He made a mental note to ask her the connection between his scars and his mindset.

He made his way to the elevator and tried to recall one of his mother's lullabies. Maybe a combination of the milo and the lullaby would bring back his ability to sleep. Or at the very least allow him a two hour power nap. The elevator door swished open to reveal the dark and quiet third floor. Or at least that had been Shepard's expectation.

As he had assumed, the lights were mostly off. If not for his familiarity with the ship he would have knocked his leg against one of the chairs of the mess. But the ambient light from the food preserver flooded into the dark room. As Shepard approached, he heard a familiar melody and a female voice singing its lyrics.

_"I was beat incomplete_  
><em>I'd been had, I was sad and blue<em>  
><em>But you made me feel<em>  
><em>Yeah, you made me feel<em>  
><em>Shiny and new,"<em>

The female crew member sang as she gathered bread, peanut butter and jelly from the preserve. She switched on the lights above the preparation table near the stove, her back still to her audience of one when she let out chorus.

_"Like a virgin_  
><em>Touched for the very first time<em>  
><em>Like a virgin<em>  
><em>When your heart beats<em>  
><em>Next to mine."<em>

Her full hips swung out with every beat and continued to do so even as she bent down to pick up a knife, giving Shepard a full view of one his favorite female body parts. His grin touched from ear to ear as she continued.

_"Gonna give you all my love, boy_  
><em>My fear is fading fast<em>  
><em>Been saving it all for you<em>  
><em>'Cause only love can last."<em>

The light from the counter showed off the singer's sleepwear. A simple white tank-top that stopped short of her lower back and yellow pajama pants with dancing bears running up and down the legs. Her hair was tied into a low ponytail that was over her shoulder giving Shepard a view of her exposed shoulders and back, something her stuffy uniform never allowed. She pulled a glass from the lower cupboards and grabbed some milk while singing out the next verses.

_"You're so fine and you're mine_  
><em>Make me strong, yeah you make me bold<em>  
><em>Oh your love thawed out<em>  
><em>Yeah, your love thawed out<em>  
><em>What was scared and cold."<em>

She returned the supplies to their proper place and picked up her late night snack ready to seat herself. She turned on her feet as the chorus came again.

"_Like a virgin, hey_-!" She turned around and froze, her icy blue eyes wider than any mass relay Shepard had seen. The music from her omni-tool continued on without its lead singer and Commander Shepard could just barely form a coherent sentence.

"Good evening, Ms. Lawson," he managed between snickers. "A little late for karaoke isn't it?"

Glossary:

**Milo: **A popular chocolate milk drink in the Caribbean, Malaysia, and Singapore.


	2. Karaoke Night part 2

Late Nights

"Karaoke" Night part 2

Shepard could barely hold back snicker at the sight before him. Miranda Lawson, the resident ice queen of the ship, the one woman on the ship that could make Grunt back off, was standing frozen in the middle of the mess with the "classic" Madonna single blasting on her omni-tool. Her blue eyes were the size of a moon as she stared at her commander. Her mouth hung agape revealing her slight buckteeth, giving Shepard another snicker. Not so perfect after all, he thought. Madonna continued to blare in the background, but Miranda didn't seem to notice. It was as if her brain had temporarily shut down, complete with the thousand yard stare. Her bright yellow pajama pants hung low. The excessive swaying had untied the string holding them up, revealing the start of her hot pink underwear. He had to bite down on his lip to make sure he didn't laugh too loud. He was failing badly. A few bursts of laughter managed to escape his clamped down lips. In the end Shepard couldn't take much more. He bent over and let out his first full laugh in what felt like months. The echoes of the tight walls around them only seemed make his laugh even louder.

"S-Shepard...w-what are you doing here?" she asked finally when his laughter had subsided.

"I just came down for a snack," he said with a grin. "I didn't know it came with a show."

"Oh god... shoot me now," she groaned, her face turning pink.

"So...Madonna huh?" Shepard said his smile still on full display. "What happened to the woman who liked the adagio movement on Nielsen's fifth?"

"She's standing in the mess hall, in her bloody underwear being humiliated by her commanding officer," Miranda replied.

"Yeah that sounds about right."

"You ass," she muttered, taking her snack to the table.

"Wait till Garrus hears about this," Shepard chuckled as he warmed his beverage.

"You wouldn't dare tell anyone," Miranda said, a slight tone of panic apparent, giving Shepard another round of the giggles.

The commander shrugged. "What? Something like this could really boast morale. Part of the XO's duties is to keep her crew's spirits up after all."

"I'd rather kiss a krogan…."

Shepard grabbed his milk from the microwave. "I can arrange that. I'm sure Grunt would appreciate the new experience."

Miranda buried her face in her hands, as if trying to hide from the mortification. But her flushed face made it impossible. "It wasn't what it looked like," she insisted.

Shepard could only smile behind his cup, this should be good. "So you weren't jamming out to a song that's how many centuries old?"

"No," she said with as much of a neutral tone as she could. "I was…conducting a social experiment with different eras of music."

Shepard shook his head, laughter about to overtake him again. "Really? That's the best you could come up with?"

Miranda could only sigh, but allowed herself a small chuckle. "Unfortunately, yes."

"You may want to re-think that alibi," Shepard said taking a long sip of his warm drink. As the milk passed down his throat and into his stomach, he could already feel himself relax.

"It's Orianna's fault," the Cerberus Operative said.

"You just met her face-to-face only a few weeks ago and you're already blaming her when you get caught red-handed? It's amazing how sibling relationships work."

"Not like that," Miranda said, taking a sip of her milk. "We've been in contact since Illium. Not major conversations mind you, but enough to connect with each other. She kept recommending me this site on the extranet that, in her words, had every one of Earth's hit singles divided by the decade. She wouldn't stop nagging me until I said I would pay it a visit."

"So she just happened to send you a link to Madonna?" Shepard asked.

Miranda bit her lip, her face returning to its flushed state. "N-no….that was my decision. One I'm thoroughly regretting at the moment."

"I don't blame you," the commander said, finishing off his drink. "Are the dancing bear pajama pants courtesy of Orianna too?"

"Er….no…." Miranda said, taking a bite out of her sandwich. "They're…..mine….."

"You're gonna have to speak up, even with bionic ears, my hearing isn't that great."

"You bastard…I said they're mine. I bought them several years ago. Satisfied?"

Shepard shrugged. "More or less. Why though? I never saw you as the 'dancing bear' type."

"I thought they aesthetically pleasing when I saw them, all right?"

"Is that…..is that your way of saying…..you thought they were…..cute?"

"I am going to evoke my Fifth Amendment right in this situation."

"Tch…yeah, we're on a spaceship how many millions of light-years away from Earth. Besides you're not even from America originally."

"Fifth Amendment, Shepard," Miranda insisted.

"All right fine," Shepard said. "But if I go into your office will I find a switch that exposes a bunch of unicorn posters too?"

"I won't even justify that with a response," Miranda scoffed. "Furthermore, don't act like you don't have any embarrassing secrets, commander."

"Oh, I do," Shepard said, warming another cup. "It's just that I don't make it a habit of displaying those secrets in the mess hall for all to see."

"There wasn't anyone here prior to your arrival."

"True…except for our ever present A.I., EDI? You there?"

"Yes commander," the synthetic voice said. "And for future ventures, Operative Lawson's dancing was two beats off the 4/4 meter presented by her song. I am able to recommend several instructional videos found on the extranet if improvement is desired."

"Oh my god…." Miranda groaned, her face hidden behind her hands.

"I don't think that'll be necessary, EDI," Shepard said, his grin filling his lips. "Thanks though."

"Very well, Shepard logging you out."

"I believe it's time to call it a night," Miranda said, hastily getting out of her chair.

"Already? And here I was prepared to see your rendition of 'Hit me Baby One More Time.'"

"Good night, Commander!"

"Ok, how about 'I Will Always Love You' that has a bit more class to it!"

Miranda shot the commander a glare before disappearing behind her office door. Shepard shook his head still trying to make sense of what had just occurred. He finished off his drink and could only laugh. If situations like this were the consequences of having insomnia then his condition wasn't nearly as bad as he thought it would be.

"EDI, you recorded all that correct?" he asked the A.I.

"Correct Shepard, as per the Illusive Man and Operative Lawson's orders I am required to maintain all surveillance software on the Normandy."

"Be sure to send me a copy of tonight's recording to my private terminal."

"Done. May I ask why?"

Shepard could only shrug as he made his way to the elevator. "It's to boast my own personnel morale."

"Very well Shepard."

That night, his dreams were dominated by the image of dancing bears and blondes.

**Next Time: Shepard finds out what Garrus is really doing when he says he's "Calibrating". Hope you keep reading.**


	3. Night of Calibrations

Late Nights

Chapter 3: Night of Calibrations

"Can it wait for a bit, I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

That one phrase was what caused Commander James Anthony Shepard, savior of the Citadel, hero of Elysium, and whatever other moniker he got stuck with, to lie wide awake in his cabin. On the other hand it wasn't so much the turian's new catchphrase, as it was the galaxy-heavy burden on his shoulders. But at least he could do something about Garrus's new habit right now. Or he hoped he could.

It had been great reuniting with Garrus on Omega. Granted, finding him surrounded by every major gang on Omega, armed with only his trusty sniper rifle, wasn't the grand reunion Shepard had in mind. But at that point, small victories were precious. Shepard had been overjoyed with having one familiar face on the Normandy field crew. Joker and Chakwas were great, but he couldn't bring them out to the battlefield. Not unless he wanted to entertain the enemy with Joker's attempts at wielding a rifle. Once the danger had passed and Garrus's injuries were healed, Shepard had been eager to catch up on the last two years. But once he reached the forward battery, Garrus had claimed:

"Can it wait for a bit, I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

At the time Shepard had just shrugged it off. Garrus had gone through a lot in the past few hours alone. The commander had been content to just try again later. The next day, after they had recruited Mordin, he had swung by again.

"Can it wait for a bit, I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

And again after they got Zaeed.

And again after they had released Jack.

And yet again after they had awoken Grunt.

Shepard sat up in his bed, annoyance preventing sleep. Back in the old days, Garrus couldn't wait to talk his ear off after missions. Whether it had been about C-Sec, his issues with the rules, his father, Dr. Saleon, or whatever tickled his fancy that week. Between him, Ashley, Wrex, and Tali, he wasn't sure who took up the most his post-mission time.

Now, nothing. Just calibrations.

It couldn't be that the Thanix Cannon was faulty. Jacob, Mordin, Gabby, and Kenneth had assured him that the new cannon was top of the line and only needed adjustments every few months, not every few hours. Could it be that Garrus was just isolating himself? He didn't trust the Cerberus personnel so he felt the need to limit contact with the crew?

Shepard shook his head. That couldn't be it either. He had seen the sniper get along well with Jacob and Zaeed on missions. Garrus and Miranda were a bit more complicated though. Then again that was Miranda's relationship with _everyone_ on the ship, himself included. And everyone had steered clear of Jack and Grunt for obvious reasons.

Shepard groaned as he removed himself from his bed completely. What his crew member and friend did in between missions really wasn't his concern. As long as Garrus showed up for duty fresh and ready to put a bullet in between a bastard's eyes, what did he care?

And yet he did.

And it was because he cared that Commander Shepard found himself standing in front of the forward battery in his t-shirt and boxers. Clearly insomnia came with a massive amount of boredom as well. The center entrance button was a solid red-orange hue, indicating its locked status. As the commanding officer of the vessel he could easily override it, but he was here as a friend. Albeit a very sleep-depraved, annoyed, and bored friend, but a friend nonetheless.

The commander banged on the rotund chrome door, the sound echoing through the empty mess. "Garrus, can I get a word?"

"Shepard….?" The sniper's memorable voice said from behind the doorway. "Er…what are you doing up this late?"

"It's something called insomnia apparently," Shepard retorted. "You got a minute?"

"Can it wait for a bit, I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

Shepard felt a vein pop on his forehead. "Do not give me that crap, Vakarian! Now open the door!"

"Look…now's not a good time….."

The rapid clicking of fingers on a keyboard reached Shepard's ears along with a faint rhythm. "Are you listening to music?"

"Yes….it's very relaxing….."

"I haven't seen you relax since you came aboard."

"And whose fault is that?"

"The Collectors, the Reapers, the Illusive Man, Saren, the council, take your pick."

"Saren's dead remember?"

"I also remember wanting to talk to you, so open up."

"Perhaps it's best if we let the commander in, Garrus," a soft female voice said.

Shepard stepped back. "Is….someone in there with you?"

"N-no! I uh….left the extranet on….!"

"All right that's it! EDI override Forward Battery priority alpha, confirmation: Shep2154!"

"Really?! Pulling rank Shepard?"

"You forced my hand, Vakarian!"

"Override confirmed, Shepard," the AI replied unaware of the situation.

Red-orange immediately transferred to emerald green and the round door swished open. Shepard stormed through the threshold, ready to face whatever lay beyond, or so he thought.

As he suspected, Garrus was nowhere close to calibrating.

The turian stood frozen, his left arm wrapped around the waist of Yeoman Kelly Chambers while his right hand was intertwined with hers. The red-head's right leg snaked around the turian's left, while her remaining leg fully extended, running parallel with the sniper's right leg. A spicy Spanish beat rang through the cramped space from the terminal. The only thing that seemed to be missing was a rose in Kelly's mouth. The commander stood as their music continued, unable to move, fearing that the sight before him would vanish. His mouth hung agape while his voice box seemed to forget its primary function. Kelly looked to and from the two males and merely giggled.

"Good evening commander," she said affably, as if seeing him at the CIC.

"Uh…what are you guys doing…?"

Garrus gulped. "We're…..calibrating…."

"No…try again….."

Garrus glanced at Kelly and quickly untangled himself. The yeoman merely giggled again and moved to the terminal to switch off the music. Although Shepard wished she hadn't. Spicy Spanish music was better than awkward silence.

"I-it's actually more practical than you think," Garrus attempted. "It's all about anticipation, knowing your partner, moving at a set pace, skills that can come in handy in the field…."

"So…the next time one of the Collectors goes all…ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL…on us, I should deploy you to go tango with it?"

"Well…I'm always up for new experiences."

Shepard turned to Kelly who still had her ever present smile. "How long as this been going on?"

Kelly shrugged. "He approached me commander. He requested that I help him develop a new skill he had learned about during his time on Omega. I'm always open to assist crew members."

"You learned to tango on Omega?!"

Garrus slapped his forehead. If he were human, Shepard knew for sure his complexion would be beet red. "One of my squad mates, a salarian, introduced me. After a long day doing missions it was…relaxing…."

Shepard tried to imagine Garrus intertwined with a salarian who could barely reach his torso. As the image settled in his mind, the commander's laughter replaced the silence.

Garrus rolled his eyes. "Glad you're getting enjoyment out of this."

"So all this time when you were 'calibrating' this is what you've been doing?" Shepard said in-between snickers. "Calibrating your…dance skills?"

"I believe it was a human philosopher who said, a warrior who cannot dance is awkward both in peace and war." Garrus then sneered at his still chuckling commander. "Besides, should _you_ of all people be teasing me about my dancing?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on Shepard, we've all seen you dance. Or…as I like to call it, flail."

"Oh, what are you saying? You think I can't tango?"

Garrus raised his hands in defense. "I'm not saying anything. All I'm saying is that you would think the mighty Commander Shepard would be open to his crew mate having expertise in an area he lacked."

"Laugh it up Garrus," Shepard shot back. He turned to Kelly who seemed content with watching. "Chambers switch on the music."

"Yes sir."

"I'll grab the…what did Joker call it? Popcorn! I'll grab the popcorn," Garrus said as he stepped back.

Shepard shot a sneer at Garrus before finding Chambers' waist and taking her hand. The moment the staccato rhythm of the music filled the cramped room, Kelly was off. Her feet moved at pace Shepard could barely keep up with. The song had barely reached its first minute before Shepard realized he was at least four steps behind the cheerful yeoman. Shepard immediately upped the pace but Chambers' feet moved like a damn varren. He glanced down trying to catch her rhythm but her feet moved in an unreadable pattern. Shepard felt himself getting dizzy. It was only when his back smacked against the railing did he see just how far behind he was.

"Shall I slow down for you sir?" Kelly asked her emerald eyes filled with amusement.

"Uh…that's not necessary." He looked up to see Garrus standing by, arms folded, and a smug look clear on his avian face. Shepard felt his face redden. Either in fury or embarrassment, he wasn't sure.

"Mind if I cut in, Shepard?" he said, making his way over.

"If you must," the commander grumbled.

The moment he three clawed hand met Chambers' the two seemed to glide across the cramped space of the Forward Battery. Garrus effortlessly twilled Kelly three times before she wrapped her leg around his forward leg and flowed into a dip. Shepard had to close his jaw. He had no idea Kelly was so nimble or flexible. In a single motion, Garrus lifted Kelly, all on beat, and set her down into another tangled pose that Shepard couldn't begin to describe.

As the music slowed to a halt, Shepard found himself clapping at the display.

"Not bad, not bad at all," he said.

Kelly giggled before pulling off the perfect curtsey. "Thank you commander. Will there be anything else, Garrus?"

"No, I think we're done for the evening."

"As always it's a pleasure to speak with you commander."

The door slid to a close, leaving the two squad mates.

"I still do work in here, you know," Garrus offered. "Just you know…everyone needs a hobby."

Shepard chuckled. "I suppose so. It's just that with the way you carry yourself you'd think your hobby would be survival training or something."

"Oh come on, I'm not _that_ bad am I?"

"No comment, Garrus," Shepard said shaking his head. "Still, it wouldn't hurt if you came out of this hole of yours for a meal or two in the mess." He grinned at his friend. "Maybe you can even put on a show for them."

"_Spirits_ no, Shepard! Do you know how hard I worked for this uptight, dark, loner reputation?"

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know it's so dear to you."

The two shared a good laugh before Shepard made his way to door.

"One more thing, Shepard…."

"I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks."

"Except, EDI."

"You're bluffing…!"

"EDI, did you get this one?"

"Yes Shepard. Garrus and Operative Chambers' display was in perfect harmony. Shall I upload it to the extranet as an instructional video? I believe many can benefit by studying their form."

Garrus looked aghast, giving Shepard one more laugh for the night. "That won't be needed EDI. Just add it to the collection."

"Very well Shepard. Logging you out."

"You're starting a collection? Who else is in there?"

Shepard shrugged. "So far just you and Miranda. Maybe you, Miranda, and Chambers should start group or something."

"I'd rather take on Sovereign."

"Yeah, I get that."

"Now that your little mystery is solved, can I get back to my calibrations?"

"The actual ones or….?"

"…..No comment."

**Next Time: **Shepard seeks to find out why Grunt and Jack are keeping everyone awake in the lower decks every night.


End file.
